By Joyce Mandelkern
Wanna laugh? Our playoff tickets came today. The world series tickets are right on top!! How is that for bad karma? Any one who reads my posts regularly knows by now that I am extremely superstitious. You probably don't know the extent of it, and if you did, you have me sent away for sure, but this was the last thing I needed to come in the mail today.
I'm depressed, dejected, resigned and emotionally spent. It's bad enough that when Pete got to work this morning he called me to make sure that I hadn't put my head in the oven. I explained to him that our oven is electric. He asked me if that meant that he had nothing to worry about. Not exactly. I should be ashamed to admit this, but I actually started to cry this morning and I'm really not a crier except when I'm happy, and I'm not happy. By the way, I didn't feel any better after tearing up.
When the game ended last night, I got two texts, one from each of my sons. We've always said that one has my personality and one has Pete's. One text said, "I'm trying to be optimistic, but I'm getting upset." The other text simply said, "Kill me." Guess who takes after whom. I texted back to optimistic son that the season is now over (which I don't truly want to believe) and I texted back my other son that if I kill him it will then be a murder-suicide because I was feeling similarly. I just wanted to be put out of my misery.
My son who lives in California gets MLB extra innings and was giving us the play by play of the Phillies - Cards game. I never thought I could root for the Cardinals, a team I never liked, with a manager I can't stand. All I know is that I was wanting Albert Pujols or Yadier Molina (haha) up at every at bat. After a while we decided we could no longer stay up and we went to sleep. As I awoke at 6 am this morning, the first thing I asked Pete is if the Cards had won. When I heard the answer that I already knew the answer to, I pulled the covers back over my head. I just needed to put the day off a little longer.
Look, we shouldn't be at all surprised by what is happening. Mike and I have seen this and been writing about this all season long. I'm just disappointed. I've written before, that when you have great expectations you have great disappointments and this is why I am feeling this way. I know logistically its not over and I will be the happiest person around if you all say at the end of October that I didn't know what I was talking about and we were fine and went happily and successfully into the postseason. I hope we can all tell Steve Phillips he didn't know what he was talking about when he predicted our collapse earlier on in the season.
I'm not giving up as a Mets fan. I've stuck with them through the good, the bad and the ugly and I'm not about to stop now. As torturous as this is for me, I will watch every pitch of every inning, except when I cover my eyes because I'm afraid to look. I will try to negotiate some deal with the baseball gods and see if we can't get this thing turned around before its too late. I will use every superstition I have and try some new things to see if they work. I'm not having fun and yes, I'm disgusted. I'm a Mets fan. I'm just praying those postseason tickets come in handy.