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Professor Clerihew's Mets Year in Review

Chuck RothmanSunday, September 6, 2009
By Chuck Rothman


1B
Carlos Delgado
Avoids playing Lotto
But he did less than zip
When he messed up his hip.

2B
Alex Cora
Was looking to restore a
Career path like his chums
But alas he's all thumbs.

SS
Jose Reyes
Likes to delay us
His return for some reason
Will take place next season.

3B
David Wright
Was feeling all right
'Till a pitch from Matt Cain
Nearly scrambled his brain.

C
Brian Schneider
Is good at catching a slider
And it would be good, too,
If he hit just a few.

OF
Fernando Martinez
Does not want to be seen as
A dud at the plate
But it's getting quite late.

OF
Carlos Beltran
Is someone to depend on
He plays through cheers and boos
But not with a bone bruise.

OF
Gary Sheffield
Patrolled in left field
Hit home run 500
But his days as a Met are numbered.

SP
Johan Santana
Has a buffalo ranch in Montana
He gives hungry friends tips:
Stay away from the chips.

SP
Oliver Perez
Always does what he says
"Pay my huge fee
And I'll screw up my knee."

SP
John Maine
Pitches in pain
If he's gone after September
We'll never remember.

SP
Jon Niese
Won't call the police
He doesn't want to kvetch
And have to do a stretch.

RP
J. J. Putz
Has plenty of chutz-
Pah when he started to pitch
And ended on the disabled list

Manager
Jerry Manuel
Owns an small English Spaniel
Who would come out to play
But is injured today.

Front Office
Tony Bernazard
Was working much too hard
Acted real curt
And took off his shirt

GM
Omar Minyana
Can't wait for maƱana
He needs to win soon
Or be fired in June.

Clerihew

About Chuck Rothman: I haven't always been a Mets fan, since I started following baseball one year too early. But I've been rooting for them since 1965, and is so much a fan that I actually remember Sean Fitzmaurice's big league debut, that Chuck Estrada was the winning pitcher for Tom Seaver's first big-league start, and that Newsday predicted the Mets would win the pennant in 1969. For forty years, he's been living and dying with the team. Mostly the latter, alas, but it hasn't shaken my confidence -- if you root for a team, you stick with it.   Read More -->

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